# Politely saying NO when someone wants to borrow your pen



## desibaba

I have never owned a fine "Writing Instrument" but I am definitely intrigued by them. I always wonder how do you guys not lose these pens or say NO to people who want to borrow your pen for a minute. Most people innocently think a pen is only worth 25 cents when they want to borrow yours to quickly jot something down. But I wouldn't take that risk because I don't want to lose the pen or have someone damage it accidentally.


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## icrazeei

Keep a cheap spare at your desk for the purpose of lending out.


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## Tomas472

I learned long ago to NEVER loan a decent fountain pen to ANYONE, and to immediately remove one from their hands should they pick it up from my desk. (This was after a fellow engineer grabbed my Montblanc from my desk to write a quick note and destroyed the nib.)

(He did pay for the repair.)


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## heb

Great question. There is no polite way to do it; straight to the point is the best way. The jerkoff who would ask to borrow your pen "for a minute" is the same guy who also wants your nice pocket knife; NEVER to use them for some benign activity but rather to cut a tiny piece concrete or to use the nib to pry a staple from a 200 page document.

heb


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## watermanxxl

Ugh, the "rudeness"... Why don't you just ask me to borrow my watch? Or, my wife? But, that's another thread...


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## StufflerMike

Moved to the right place.


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## jar

I have never had an issue with letting someone use one of my pens; after all, it really is just a pen. But I also use it as a learning experience and so before they get to touch it they will get a short lesson on how to write with a fountain pen. For most folk that is simply not a problem. Those that say "Just give it to me!" get a chuckle and smile and the lesson goes on.


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## TexasWatch

desibaba said:


> I have never owned a fine "Writing Instrument" but I am definitely intrigued by them. I always wonder how do you guys not lose these pens or say NO to people who want to borrow your pen for a minute. Most people innocently think a pen is only worth 25 cents when they want to borrow yours to quickly jot something down. But I wouldn't take that risk because I don't want to lose the pen or have someone damage it accidentally.


Non-nibbed instruments are a tough call. Depends on the person (an maybe how cute she is). Nibbed instruments are a definite "no way."


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## ksmigrod

The hardest thing to do? Teaching my wife that my pen is mine. (she is also a fountain pen user, but not as orthodox as me).

At my workplace I always keep my pen on my person (in my hand or in a shirt pocket), or in my backpack, so one would lay hands on it without my knowledge.
There is always plenty of disposable ball pens at work, I keep one or two BICs at my desk for borrowers. Those who are not interested in fine writing instruments don't care so long as it writes, those who are, know better then to ask for fountain-pen.
There is also a $5 cartridge fountain pen in my backpack, I use it as backup, and I don't mind borrowing it.

Some fountain-pen orthodox keep a Pilot Varsity disposable pen in their shirt pocket for borrowers, I would do it too, if they were easily available in Poland.


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## gangrel

A simple "sorry...no." If it's one I have to worry about. But that is going to be most of the time, as I don't often carry my Parker 51's et al. that wouldn't be an issue. However, if it's someone I know, I might say yes, if I think they're not likely to try crushing down.

I find it more amusing when I do offer...then they go, "oh, I don't know how to use that!"


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## Lord Monocle

heb said:


> Great question. There is no polite way to do it; straight to the point is the best way. The jerkoff who would ask to borrow your pen "for a minute" is the same guy who also wants your nice pocket knife; NEVER to use them for some benign activity but rather to cut a tiny piece concrete or to use the nib to pry a staple from a 200 page document.
> 
> heb


I'm not much of a pen guy, but I have knives that cost enough that I care about them, so I know what you mean. My response goes like this:

"What do you need me to cut for you?"

If it's something, I cut it. If it isn't a cutting job, I hand the guy my Gerber Shard and let him pry and scrape to his heart's content.


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## MrCCartel

I've only had to say "sorry I cant" one time. We were outside on the concrete and all I had on me was my MB 146. The person asking literally had no idea what a fountain pen even was. And when I tried to explain it he suggested "something the a feather quill?"

Other than that 1 time I always carry a Zebra 701 ballpoint for those who dare ask to borrow a wrighting instrument from me. 

I feel carrying a cheap disposable fountain pen is counter productive and those daring to ask for a pen need not write with any fountain pen, be it $8 or $800. 


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## Tomas472

Lord Monocle said:


> I'm not much of a pen guy, but I have knives that cost enough that I care about them, so I know what you mean. My response goes like this:
> 
> "What do you need me to cut for you?"
> 
> If it's something, I cut it. If it isn't a cutting job, I hand the guy my Gerber Shard and let him pry and scrape to his heart's content.


I hear _THAT_ one! My EDC pocket knife just happens to be a numbered Paul knife, and I loan it to no one.









Back when I used to carry a work knife (Buck 110), I gave up loaning it because one out of three times the borrower would hurt themselves (I keep my knives sharp).

Being retired, now, there are fewer folks wanting to borrow something, and for those few I simply say no.


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## jar

I have even less reluctance to lend whatever pocket knife I happen to be carrying than I do for my fountain pens and they are almost always a handmade knife from one of the major bladesmiths. Knives are just a tool even more than fountain pens and far harder to damage. My most common EDC pocket knife is a Greenaway but it might also be a Carson, one from the Crawfords, a Gedraitis or Gilbreath, a Joe Pardue or "Whiskers" Allen or Peter Marker.


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## GenericWatcher

I find that as I get older I have less of a problem being blunt with people. I used to carry around a cheap pen for people to borrow but I no longer feel that this is my responsibility. I have plenty of cheap pens within reach at work. In my department I keep a very well stocked stationary cabinet so when someone needs a pen, even if it is to jot something down quick, i tell them to help themselves and keep it. But the real challenge for me is when I fly.

When I am flying to a country that makes you fill out addiotional forms on the plane, I always have the foresight to keep my pen handy. Even if i forget, I will make the effort to get it from my bag in the overhead. This is when people will most ask for a pen. Understand that if you lend someone your pen in this scenario, you will never see it again. It will get passed around and lost. In these situations my response to the request would be 'no'. But that would lead to follow up questions like 'why' andi promises they will only be a minute. This is why now my response is to simply say nothing, put the pen back in my pocket and put my headset back on.


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## MLJinAK

If I'm at my desk, I hand them a disposable pen without saying anything. Just acting like it's normal. No one has said anything. 

If I'm out walking around, I help them look for a pen. 

If I'm in a meeting room and have to let someone use it, then I get it right back.


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## Lytton

Maybe you should carry a secondary cheap pen that you can land without fear.


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## John60169

I just say "Sorry - This one is sort of personal to me - Let me see if I can find you something..." and no one ever batted an eye. 

Had a gal literally YANK my Waterman LeMan 100 (circa 1988-ish - I still have a brand new one in the box from 1990/91 before they uglied up the nib) out of my pocket, snatched the cap off and then stopped - shocked - (thank goodness) and said "Whoa - this is a pretty fancy pen..." while I was slowly (and wide-eyed) walking towards her, in a calm voice, saying "Okay, please - please be careful with that..."


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## bomgd3

Dear god, I hate it so much when people grab one of my fountain pens without asking. I'm a medical resident and when I was an intern and med student, people who always try to bum pens off me. I try to carry a Bic whenever I can.


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## Jeremy

A friend of mine with a substantial collection has for years mentioned his rule of never letting anyone borrow a pen even to use in his presence. I recently acquired my first Montblanc (rollerball) and don't see the big deal. I understand why one would be against another person using his/her fountain pen, but with a rollerball what's the issue -- assuming you get it back?


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## gangrel

Jeremy said:


> A friend of mine with a substantial collection has for years mentioned his rule of never letting anyone borrow a pen even to use in his presence. I recently acquired my first Montblanc (rollerball) and don't see the big deal. I understand why one would be against another person using his/her fountain pen, but with a rollerball what's the issue -- assuming you get it back?


Taking your assumption as a given...none, unless they're extraordinarily clumsy, of course.

However, that assumption is inherently incorrect some percentage of the time. And what does a 144 rollerball go for...other than ridiculously too much? Yeah, I have a real, real hard time trying to swallow the notion of dropping serious bucks on ANY rollerball. You're just paying for the body; if we're talking Omas Arte Italiano celluloid, that's at least interesting (and probably not cheap) material. But MB's standard lines? Not.


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## tsbphd

While there are no doubt rude ways to say "no"; I don't know of any especially polite ways of saying "no". It has to be a two-way street in these instances where I calmly tell them "no" and they accept the answer.


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## oak1971

The used Omega market is fairly attractive of late. Can't even get a non quartz Tudor for what I paid for used Speedy's


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## Trekkie

Like they say, life is a learning experience, saying no is just part of the maturing process. 
I was asked the other day how I kept my MB and not loosing them, answered that you only loose 1, after that you learn. 
Luckily my circle of trust knows the value of a great pen (independent of brand) and never ask. To be completely honest, I rather lend them my car than my pen.

Happy writing!


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## dadbar

Many years ago I made the mistake of loaning my favorite black Cross pen to a smoker. Never again will I loan a pen to anyone. I was never able to get the smell of cigarette smoke off that pen and I had to get rid of it.


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## John60169

Whuh.....? :think:


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## josephine lace

i remember lending a friend a pen once only to get it back when the ink was exhausted


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## MrNurse

I just got a nice and shiny Cross Townsend and the patients would ask to borrow a pen. I would proceed to look for another pen to lend them. So far none of them have asked to borrow my pen specifically because it's not something I would lend. I keep an extra "regular" pen in my bag if worse comes to worse and they really need to borrow a pen.


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## Av Simulator

IF you trust someone to write carefully with your pen and you do loan it to them,
remove the cap and keep it. The borrower will be less likely to pocket the pen,
and you will have a reminder that it has been taken.


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## 'Busa

I simply ask to borrow their most attractive female relative, which they likely value as much as my pen.


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## rony_espana

I always carry 2 pens with me in the office, I also had my "good" pen engraved just in case!  some people still manage to catch me off guard so it's the only way. 


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## drgoretex

Yep, age old problem. I'm definitely in the 'always carry a ballpoint too' boat. More than once I had to cringe as I watch someone try to write with my fountain pen, nib upside down, and then furiously scrape it all over the paper trying to get it to write. ouch.


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## Tsujigiri

I don't have a problem lending people my pens as long as I'm there and I tell them how to use it. I've had some people look at the nib with a wide eyed expression and decide to procure a different writing implement, but no one's ever written with my pens in a way that would damage them. I think the myth about fountain pen nibs conforming to the individual's writing style are ridiculous; if you're pressing that hard you're using them wrong. And I've had plenty of vintage pens that write great; who knows how they were used before me?


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## thisnewguy

I wouldn't know because I have no problem with people using my stuff. Borrowing is much different. Borrowing means I won't be around when they use it. I tell them I don't let people borrow stuff only use it 


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## Crate410

icrazeei said:


> Keep a cheap spare at your desk for the purpose of lending out.


Yep. Exactly.

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## Silas

I always carry 2 pens in my pocket. Cheap one to the left. That way I say sure and without looking, pluck that one from my pocket. 
Next to it is an Alexander Dumas Writers Edtion Mont Blanc. 
Works like a charm. 
A TWISBI or steel nibbed plain medium Safari would do. 
Sometimes I'll just give to them. Good Karma.


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## Boomachucka

Ehh, carry an extra and don't lend out your nice Mont Blanc. I'd be paranoid about lending out a nice writing instrument


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## CabbageHead

Fountain pens are like underwear, you don't lend them. Pens become tuned to one person and you should not lend them, even if the borrower is familar with fountain pens.


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## mgjackson68

I have carried a nice Waterman ballpoint pen and pencil set (sorry, I am not part of the fountain pen club and never will be...my writing style is more "hammer and chisel on stone") since circa 1991.

On a customer site, I had a guy ask to use my pen after he picked it up and proceeded "pull the cap off" (read: forcibly disassemble the pen). He apologized profusely; I was so upset that I chose not to say anything. Fortunately I had a couple of "consumer" rollerball pens in my bag, so I had something to write with. 

My son bought me a nice replacement Waterman for my birthday shortly thereafter, and I was subsequently able to repair the original pen, and still carry it in my bag as a backup.

Due to that experience, and the fact that I am getting to be a crotchety old git as I age, I very rarely loan pens anymore. It is not my job to supply pens for others.

Especially on an airplane. Anyone traveling internationally should surely know there is a good chance that there will be documents to fill out. And many times people ask to borrow a pen from the person next to them simply because it is easier then getting their own pen out of their bag.

On those rare occasions where I loan a pen on an airplane or otherwise "in public", it is a Bic or other cheap pen that I do not care about getting back. In fact, I usually just tell the borrower to keep it.

On a customer site, diplomacy tends to prevail, and the situation is more controlled, so I am more likely to hand someone my pen for a quick note. Again, usually I will dig out the cheap stick pen and tell them to keep it.


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## oak1971

Sorry, it just broke.


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## Goober

It tends to happen a lot with work. I'm very particular with what I write with so I get a lot of compliments, and for some reason people just don't think the theft of such a device constitutes anything more than a trivial infraction. I let them know up front my writing instruments do not leave my eye sight.


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## panaria12

icrazeei said:


> Keep a cheap spare at your desk for the purpose of lending out.


+1 I also keep a roller ball handy to use for a loaner.


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## nek

I never loan my vintage MB Fountain Pens out. I always have a cheap Biro handy to loan out when asked. Usually it is when other staff come to my office and don't bring their own pens to write with.


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## wspohn

I often carry expensive fountain pens and all it takes to cause hundreds of dollars of damage is for someone to drop it or not know how to use it, so my invariable answer is simple 'no'.

If they persist I explain, or once asked if they handed me their wallet to hold, thy'd get it back when I got my pen back in perfect shape.

I had one person just grab my pen out of my pocket once. I left bruises!


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## Alfon

I've read some very good advices in this thread.

Some time ago, I decided that I do not have to supply writting instruments to anyone who comes to my place (but I keep some cheap rollerball pens just in case and to fill selfcopy forms). So if someone asks me for my pen I just say no, and then tell him/her that it is his/her responsibility to have a pen at hand and that, if he/she doesn't have one, there is a lady at the stationery dept. that will happily provide them.

I do not mind if my pen is the only one available, I will say no. As a joke or with someone I have a good friendship, I sometimes have told him to sharpen his finger and write down with it or asked him why, when he knows he would need a pen, he doesn't have one knotted ho his balls.


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## DeCrow

I write almost exclusively with fountain pens. No-one else can touch them, apart from my daughter, who I know also writes with low pressure. Everyone else I simply refuse to let them handle my pens. Period! "Joey don't share pens".


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## Tremec

I carry a zebra gel along with whatever personal pen I'm carrying that day. The zebra gets handed over when the time comes.

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## Hate_CBN

.......and I thought I was the only one that carried around a spare ballpoint just in case someone asks to borrow a pen.............


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## Cobia

If anybody asks to borrow my fountain pen i stab them straight in the eye with it, they never ask again


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## Hate_CBN

Harsh......but fair


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## Chronopolis

I find it funny how so many people agonize over this issue; and how so many here even preface a refusal by saying "sorry" first.

It goes to show ya the true (civilizing) power of women (mothers) and how they raise their sons.

But being a barbarian, I just say: "Nope, not this one." And that's that.

If they're "offended," too effin bad, they can f off.

But if they persist in knowing why they can't borrow my pen, I tell them: "Cuz it was custom made for my hand at great expense, so anyone else's hand will damage it."


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## makmakako

Yeah. Those grubby hospital/medical people aren't the best at returning pens. I'd be careful.


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## crc32

Plot twist: What if your MANAGER asks for your pen during a meeting?

Happened to me this week, fortunately I had a cheap merchandising pen in my pocket...


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## NinthSphere

Unless he/she is a known fp user, ask your manager for a cash deposit to be returned with the pen.:-d Folks should know better to carry some sort of writing implement.

edit: ...or yes, do what you did & pull out a pen you don't mind lending like a bp/rb.


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## smashie

To be fair if I am doing business with someone who doesn't think far enough ahead to have a pen on them, then I'm not sure sure I want to business with that person. 

None of my FP's are really expensive, but they are mine, end of story.


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## senorgreg

Often I have found that someone wants to "borrow" my nice pen to try it out and see what all the hype is about. Many times they want to see what a pen that costs hundreds of dollars writes like, and see if the hype is justified. In those instances I stand next to them and watch as they use my pen. I'd say half the time they don't see the value, and the other half I've potentially made a convert to who will someday soon own their own nice pen. In fact, that's what turned me on to my 1st Mont Blanc. So, for those folks it's kind of worth it to make those converts. 

For those just wanting a pen to write something down, and they really don't care for anything else....I keep a cheapo nearby for those occasions


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## Aonarch

I just say sorry, no it is a fountain pen (Even if it is not).


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## FullDisclosureWatches

Not sure why, but when i hand them my pen, they reluctantly use it knowing it's a personal pen. So having a pen near my desk always help when having customers sign something.


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## clarosec

Don't forget the proper etiquette for RETURNING a pen to a d-bag...






That said, on planes it's cheap bics only. At the office, my nice pens stay out of sight or in my hand. They just don't get loaned out.


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## joelps

Ha i love this thread. i don't give anyone the cap when i lend it. cant walk away with the pen without a cap. i also dont let anyone walk away from me with it. i just say no.


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## Hasaf

I am a middle school teacher; as such, students frequently ask to write with my pen. Firstly, I keep a cup of "donated" pens and pencils on my desk. Students "donate" pens and pencils by leaving them in my classroom.

That said, many students are interested in the pens I use, as they are different from what they have seen elsewhere (this is a Title I school, generally, these students do not see things like fountain pens in use). I generally will let them try then; but that means that I do not have any real high end pens. I also keep some low end fountain pens in my desk for students to try and see the difference between those and ball-pens.

On that note, there was something I saw that I immediately liked about the vanishing point, it is very intuitive in regard to how to hold it properly. That said, when students do use my pen, I keep a close eye on the pen. 

I also like being able to use a distinctive ink. I typically use Noodlers Red-Black. I like it because I can immediately look at something and see where I have written. A few other teaches have commented on liking that they can look at a note I have written and immediately verify that I wrote it just by looking at the colour.


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## rrchmnn

Such a great thread - I like when people ask to use my pen (gasp!) it's an opportunity to talk about it, school them a bit, and maybe help them with their first purchase. For those who want just "something to write something down" I still will let them use a Pilot G20 (red ink), nobody keeps a red ink pen.


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## e9stibi

Too bad that folks do not know the fundamentals ...


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## asadtiger

I dont own very expensive pens but i did lend mine to some people, who i had to tell how to write it with, and then they got interested and learnt more about it from me..so lending isnt all that bad..just sometimes i am sure people are going to damage the nib but so far it is ok 

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## sokol3333

It's as easy as just saying "no". "Sorry, no" if you want to be polite. It's your property, no one else is entitled to use it. Not loaning out your things doesn't make you an ......., it just means you're not overly charitable. Anytime you loan something out, no matter the length of time, you run the risk of losing it.


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## OrolgioPete

I guess id just give out a crappy pen


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## vinayj009

Like comment #2 said. Keep a cheaper watch in your desk or pocket to lend to people


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## NinthSphere

vinayj009 said:


> Like comment #2 said. Keep a cheaper watch in your desk or pocket to lend to people


Why are you lending out a watch when someone wants to borrow your pen? ;-P


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## turbineboy

Its not really that hard to say no. The fountain pen is a personal item and one can politely say no when asked.


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## Paul T

If it?s someone who?s into fountain pens and wants to feel how it writes, I?m happy to let them give it a whirl. Anyone else can borrow a sharpie. Or sometimes I?ll hand someone a beater fountain pen, just to watch them struggle. Heh.


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## horrij1

Similar to Paul T above, I always have a couple of pens at my desk and in my bag. If someone who I know and trust asks to borrow a pen I will hand them one of my nice pens, someone I don't know, they get a disposable. It is kind of a hassle, but if you are going to use a nice pen on a recular basis, it is good to have a couple of throw aways with you at all times as well.


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## JaegerLeKen

“I’d lend it to you, but then I’d have to kill you.”


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## debussychopin

CabbageHead said:


> Fountain pens are like underwear, you don't lend them.


This can be a great sig


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## Tonystix

Tell them you think you might be coming down with a cold and wouldn't want them to get sick as well.


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## spclEd

There is no easy way but direct is best besides having a 'disposable' available to offer. My Montblancs single-user only.


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## debussychopin

ive said no to people's face about borrowing something before and had no issues. They can take it as if it was polite or not, i dont care, i say it with a smile but i say it matter -of-factly. 
if i had an expensive pen out in the open and they wanted to borrow it, i would say 'no sorry' . who cares.
if it is family and friends, yeah, i dont mind.


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## ganagati

I will reluctantly loan mine out ... very selectively. More than once, somebody has yanked on the cap of my montblanc not realizing it was a screw top.... ugh...


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## NoSympathy

Nah never let anyone use my fountain pens. I was lucky when i let someone borrow one of my cheap Chinese cartridge pens instead of my Pelikan or Lamy. The person who borrowed the pen bent the .... out of the nib. Wasn't too frustrated.


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## signum8

One time I was looking for discontinued Mertz & Krell Pelikan 120 Fountain pens and handed the one I had over to an antique store owner who mistook the plunger knob as a cover cap and tried to screw it off. I was lucky and I only had to learn once. You don't know if the person will fiddle with it and break it. So keep it out of sight and give them a rollerball if they need something to write with.

Glad Ebay came along. No more rooting around shops. Gene--


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## PDT_1137

I only let other fountain pen users write with mine, but only if I know them well. I had a terrible incident where I watched my Visconti Steel Age Fountain pen dive tines first onto a steel bedplate because I let some naive look at it... 
I've no problem saying no - but, like other, I usually also have a cheap ballpoint lying around just in case


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## 71 TRUCK

First I would ask for a deposit equal to the cost to replace it. Then after I stopped laughing I would just give them a cheap pen I would carry just for this purpose.


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