# A pretentious, overly snobbish, old fashioned guide to choosing a strap



## bradurani

Dear Esteemed Forum Peoples,

Your new fangled, "creative", strap pairings are worse than fake butter on popcorn. Enough of this tomfoolery! Allow me to set you straight.

*Dress Watches*

The only acceptable straps for dress watches are crocodile and alligator. Ok, maybe lizard if it's a smaller watch. That's it. They must be black if you're wearing a tuxedo, or dark brown if not. This new trend of putting pebbled calf leather on dress watches to "dress them down" is an insult to dress watches and an insult to calves. The whole point is to be dressy, that's why it's called a "dress watch". Ditch the "I have no self-confidence" greys and tans and show that you love reptiles by having one killed and skinned for your watch. It's the natural way.

*Dive Watches*

If your dive watch didn't come with a bracelet, you have one choice: black rubber (silicone is just fancy science rubber, so I'm lumping them together). If you put leather on a dive watch, may the ghost of Jacques Costeau put laughing gas in your air tank. If you want to advertise to the whole world that your dive watch will never go near the ocean, then go ahead and do leather…. actually… don't… pretend you're not a boring accountant who never sees the sun and get a proper rubber strap. Black only!

*Chronographs*

This is where your calf leather belongs. If it's a racing inspired chronograph (this includes Speedmasters) you want a rally strap, usually with small holes to vent your gross sweaty wrists. Match the strap to the watch. If the dial is black, the strap should be black, and the stitching should be black too. Don't get all sports bro and put show-boatin' red stitching on your black strap. The strap serves as a neutral background from which to highlight the watch, not distract us from it.

For pilot's chronographs you have a bit more leeway. Brown or tan works if there's not too much black on the dial. Fake carbon fiber, colored rubber backing, colored stitching and other such nonsense screams "I can't afford a Lamborghini, but I would buy one if I could" and you don't want that.

*Other*

Field watches go on nylon two-piece straps, because they don't soak up your B.O. when you're out in the field. Military watches go on RAF-style single pass straps, or a black or green NATO. If you put a bracelet on a military watch you're asking to get shot by a sniper. Anything else is just a variation on a dress watch and therefore goes on crocodile.

*Nevers*

Never put stingray, ostrich, suede, velcro or or any strap with more than one color on any watch. Doing this screams, "I hate my watch and am trying to distract you from it with an ugly strap". There are a few watches that look alright with blue or green alligator leather, but they're rare and easy to get wrong, so it's best not to risk it. Bright colors like red, yellow and orange are never alright. Light tans and grays are always boring and sole-less.

There is exactly one scenario in which it's okay to wear a rough cut leather strap with two fat stitches at the top. If you are out on a cattle drive and your strap gets caught on a mesquite bush and rips and you need to fashion a new one with some leftover raw hide and a thorn for a needle, then go ahead. Otherwise, don't even think about it! Those things are the Invictas of straps.

This is the rule: don't choose a strap that pulls attention away from the watch. If you're doing it right, the strap should serve as a neutral background for the watch and not be noticed at all.

Ok, I know you all are burning with questions, so post your pics of your strap pairings, and I'll leave my unfiltered feedback to let you know if you're doing it right.


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## debussychopin

Cool, thanks.


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## maliboo74

It’s rude to wear a watch with a tuxedo. 😉


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## Chronopolis

I love it.
Good to have standards.

I don't follow any of the advice here, but I love it anyway -- precisely FOR being _"pretentious, overly snobish, old-fashioned"_ !! (Ya left out that extra 'b' -- also a nicely snobbish move )


Here's something to give everyone a heart attack. Almost had one myself, and it's mine.


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## Sasqwatch762

This advice will be EXTREMELY helpful in the new year, I can’t thank you enough!


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## DadLife

Anyone who thinks nylon straps don't soak up your BO in the field hasn't spent enough time in the field.


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## orpheo

Chronopolis said:


> I love it.
> Good to have standards.
> 
> I don't follow any of the advice here, but I love it anyway -- precisely FOR being _"pretentious, overly snobish, old-fashioned"_ !! (Ya left out that extra 'b' -- also a nicely snobbish move )
> 
> 
> Here's something to give everyone a heart attack. Almost had one myself, and it's mine.
> 
> View attachment 17124908


ooofffff that's harsh!


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## orpheo

bradurani said:


> Dear Esteemed Forum Peoples,
> 
> Your new fangled, "creative", strap pairings are worse than fake butter on popcorn. Enough of this tomfoolery! Allow me to set you straight.
> 
> *Dress Watches*
> 
> The only acceptable straps for dress watches are crocodile and alligator. Ok, maybe lizard if it's a smaller watch. That's it. They must be black if you're wearing a tuxedo, or dark brown if not. This new trend of putting pebbled calf leather on dress watches to "dress them down" is an insult to dress watches and an insult to calves. The whole point is to be dressy, that's why it's called a "dress watch". Ditch the "I have no self-confidence" greys and tans and show that you love reptiles by having one killed and skinned for your watch. It's the natural way.
> 
> *Dive Watches*
> 
> If your dive watch didn't come with a bracelet. You have one choice: black rubber (silicone is just fancy science rubber, so I'm lumping them together). If you put leather on a dive watch, may the ghost of Jacques Costeau put laughing gas in your air tank. If you want to advertise to the whole world that your dive watch will never go near the ocean, then go ahead and do leather…. actually… don't… pretend you're not a boring accountant who never sees the sun and get a proper rubber strap. Black only!
> 
> *Chronographs*
> 
> This is where your leather belongs. If it's a racing inspired chronograph (this includes Speedmasters) you want a rally strap, usually with small holes to vent your gross sweaty wrists. Match the strap to the watch. If the dial is black, the strap should be black, and the stitching should be black too. Don't get all sports bro and put show-boatin' red stitching on your black strap. The strap serves as a neutral background from which to highlight the watch, not distract us from it.
> 
> For pilot's chronographs you have a bit more leeway. Brown or tan works if there's not too much black on the dial. Fake carbon fiber, colored rubber backing, colored stitching and other such nonsense screams "I can't afford a Lamborghini, but I would buy one if I could" and you don't want that.
> 
> *Other*
> 
> Field watches go on nylon two-piece straps, because they don't soak up your B.O. when you're out in the field. Military watches go on RAF-style single pass straps, or a black or green NATO. If you put a bracelet on a military watch you're asking to get shot by a sniper. Anything else is just a variation on a dress watch and therefore goes on crocodile.
> 
> *Nevers*
> 
> Never put stingray, ostrich, suede, velcro or or any strap with more than one color on any watch. Doing this screams, "I hate my watch and am trying to distract you from it with an ugly strap". There are a few watches that look alright with blue or green alligator leather, but they're rare and easy to get wrong, so it's best not to risk it. Bright colors like red, yellow and orange are never alright. Light tans and grays are always boring and sole-less.
> 
> There is exactly one scenario in which it's okay to wear a rough cut leather strap with two fat stitches at the top. If you are out on a cattle drive and your strap gets caught on a mesquite bush and rips and you need to fashion a new one with some leftover raw hide and a thorn for a needle, then go ahead. Otherwise, don't even think about it! Those things are the Invictas of straps.
> 
> This is the rule: don't choose a strap that pulls attention away from the watch. If you're doing it right, the strap should serve as a neutral background for the watch and not be noticed at all.
> 
> Ok, I know you all are burning with questions, so post your pics of your strap pairings, and I'll leave my unfiltered feedback to let you know if you're doing it right.


one more from my POV: 

always buy a watch that comes with a bracelet, throw in a strap of your liking in later.


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## el_duderino

bradurani said:


> This is the rule: don't choose a strap that pulls attention away from the watch.


Correct. Well, unless you want to distract from the watch.


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## Stelwick

If my dress watch is on a dark brown strap but I have on black/blue/oxblood shoes, my leathers (watch strap, belt, shoes) won't match. If you can't even get that right, why should I put any stock in the rest of your "pretentious, overly snobbish" guide?


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## Georgie_Porgie

bradurani said:


> Your new fangled, "creative", strap pairings are worse than fake butter on popcorn. Enough of this tomfoolery! Allow me to set you straight.


Great post, seriously, got a few belly laughs out of me, but I'm afraid it will go unnoticed because of a sort of misleading title, as people might not enjoy the tongue-in-cheek style. Also, anything that goes against the forum consensus usually falls flat.

I completely agree with your premise, actually I was thinking the other day of starting a similar thread, not stating which strap is "correct" for each type of watch, but instead asking people about their opinion. 

Yeah, i don't really believe in either constant strap changing or dressing watches down/up, the way I see it you have to respect each watch's style, otherwise the result looks weird. This is just my personal opinion, of course. I tend to struggle to find the right strap, but once I do, it will stay there.


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## McChicken

I like real croc as opposed to the croc pattern leather straps.
Know a guy on Ebay in Vietnam who has croc, ostrich, and lizard straps at reasonable prices.
From subdued to hornback with 3/8" spines.
Ships from US warehouses.


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## JJ312

So I guess elastic is out then??


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## thewatchidiot

I like your thinking. I rate you among the best “rigid pontificator’s ” on WUS.


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## Chronopolis

thewatchidiot said:


> I like your thinking. I rate you among the best “rigid pontificator’s ” on WUS.


Me, in the blue helmet


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## MediumRB

Now do shoelaces!


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## glass_citymd02

This put a smile on my face


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## Nokie

Interesting and funny. I will stick to my own guidelines......


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## MarkKenyon

Am I doing it right?


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## Maggie15

Chronopolis said:


> I love it.
> Good to have standards.
> 
> I don't follow any of the advice here, but I love it anyway -- precisely FOR being _"pretentious, overly snobish, old-fashioned"_ !! (Ya left out that extra 'b' -- also a nicely snobbish move )
> 
> 
> Here's something to give everyone a heart attack. Almost had one myself, and it's mine.
> 
> View attachment 17124908


You’re a monster and this thing is going to give me nightmares.


----------



## RussMurray

Great thread and I must confess to a lot of strap changes. I've often referred to this behavior in the context of the addictive qualities that surface when you're a WIS. Straps can be like methadone  My most recent conundrum concerns a chronograph I recently acquired whereby the tolerances between the case and the lug holes are so tight, that wear occurs on leather straps along the spring bar and that drives me nuts. Consequently, I have elected to go with either rubber/silicon or canvas.

Looks great on a rally strap


But here's the "rub"


Here's what's on it now...


How'd I do? Open to suggestions of course!


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## bradurani

el_duderino said:


> Correct. Well, unless you want to distract from the watch.


If that's where you're at, buy a better watch


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## bradurani

McChicken said:


> I like real croc as opposed to the croc pattern leather straps.
> Know a guy on Ebay in Vietnam who has croc, ostrich, and lizard straps at reasonable prices.
> From subdued to hornback with 3/8" spines.
> Ships from US warehouses.
> View attachment 17125041


Grade: F
This is a field watch, and therefore should be on a two-piece nylon strap. Also, there is a never a use-case for horn back. That is way too overwhelming and overshadowing for any watch.


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## bradurani

MarkKenyon said:


> Am I doing it right?
> View attachment 17125330
> 
> View attachment 17125329
> 
> View attachment 17125331


The first one is good: padded leather on a pilot's watch is correct. There other two are wrong. two-stitch straps are always terrible, and a diver should be on BLACK rubber.


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## Pallet Spoon

Hmmm … maybe the OP needs to get out more  . I got about 2 or 3 sentences into the post before I got it  . Good stuff


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## bradurani

RussMurray said:


> Great thread and I must confess to a lot of strap changes. I've often referred to this behavior in the context of the addictive qualities that surface when you're a WIS. Straps can be like methadone  My most recent conundrum concerns a chronograph I recently acquired whereby the tolerances between the case and the lug holes are so tight, that wear occurs on leather straps along the spring bar and that drives me nuts. Consequently, I have elected to go with either rubber/silicon or canvas.
> 
> Looks great on a rally strap
> 
> 
> But here's the "rub"
> 
> 
> Here's what's on it now...
> 
> 
> How'd I do? Open to suggestions of course!


The leather rally strap is a good pairing. You want the leather color to match the dial or be a shade darker, which you've achieved. The Tropic looks horrible. The only acceptable use for a Tropic is on a vintage skin diver.


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## bradurani

Pallet Spoon said:


> Hmmm … maybe the OP needs to get out more  . I got about 2 or 3 sentences into the post before I got it  . Good stuff
> View attachment 17125413


Despite this being an absolutely ridiculous watch, it's a good pairing. There's enough blue on the dial, that the blue strap serves to extend the colorway of the watch, rather than contrast it. Good job.


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## James Haury

Are calves actually capable of being insulted?


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## Pallet Spoon

bradurani said:


> Despite this being an absolutely ridiculous watch, it's a good pairing. There's enough blue on the dial, that the blue strap serves to extend the colorway of the watch, rather than contrast it. Good job.


lol … I was hoping for a more pretentious, overly snobbish, old fashioned response  . I do have other absolutely ridiculous watches so I will try harder next time  .


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## Lastlineofdefense

As my Australian friends would say "Yeah, nah,"


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## RussMurray

bradurani said:


> The leather rally strap is a good pairing. You want the leather color to match the dial or be a shade darker, which you've achieved. The Tropic looks horrible. The only acceptable use for a Tropic is on a vintage skin diver.


Hah, well at least you're honest! While I don't concur, the problem of rubbing remains. Perhaps a rubber rally strap is in order.....


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## DadLife

RussMurray said:


> Hah, well at least you're honest! While I don't concur, the problem of rubbing remains. Perhaps a rubber rally strap is in order.....


Maybe try curved springbars.


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## bradurani

Lastlineofdefense said:


> As my Australian friends would say "Yeah, nah,"
> 
> View attachment 17125447
> View attachment 17125449
> View attachment 17125451


Grade: F
Leather never goes on dive watches!


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## RussMurray

DadLife said:


> Maybe try curved springbars.


I was thinking the same thing. Might give it a try . Thanks!


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## Scubadawg1

The boring Accountant comment stung a little since I am an accountant and have a dive watch on a leather band


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## bradurani

Scubadawg1 said:


> The boring Accountant comment stung a little since I am an accountant and have a dive watch on a leather band
> View attachment 17125659


Grade: F
But not surprising, since you spelled "dog" wrong.


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## CADirk

I'm going all in with a diver on leather, one on canvas and one on elastic webbing.
But then again, i'm not an accountant and i wear that tuna as a dress watch when i feel like it, it's not a distracting blingmonster.


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## bradurani

CADirk said:


> I'm going all in with a diver on leather, one on canvas and one on elastic webbing.
> But then again, i'm not an accountant and i wear that tuna as a dress watch when i feel like it, it's not a distracting blingmonster.
> 
> View attachment 17125751


Grade: F
Unless you're parachuting into an underwater wedding, you're doing it all wrong!


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## Ezra New York

I just ordered a yellow stingray strap for a watch I wish I liked more… well done.


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## CADirk

bradurani said:


> Grade: F
> Unless you're parachuting into an underwater wedding, you're doing it all wrong!


I have worked on some development of sub-sea connections (also called "mating") for offshore wind generators, so you're more right than you think.
And apparently, i'm doing it right on that note.


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## bradurani

Ezra New York said:


> I just ordered a yellow stingray strap for a watch I wish I liked more… well done.


It happens, don't feel bad. Sell now though and cut your loses. You'll never be happy with it


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## Paul W.

“There are a few watches that look alright with blue or green alligator leather, but they're rare and easy to get wrong, so it's best not to risk it.”

Like this one?


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## bradurani

Paul W. said:


> “There are a few watches that look alright with blue or green alligator leather, but they're rare and easy to get wrong, so it's best not to risk it.”
> 
> Like this one?
> View attachment 17125820


Grade: A
You took a risk, which I normally don't recommend, but this time it worked out for you. Don't get cocky though and try it again. Lightening doesn't strike the same place twice.


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## bradurani

Here's how it's done, ok folks? See how nice they look when you follow the rules?


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## CoffeeCat2112

Is this ok?









(Photo belongs to someone else; found online.)


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## [BOBO]

This is my favorite combo.


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## bradurani

CoffeeCat2112 said:


> Is this ok?
> View attachment 17126102
> 
> 
> (Photo belongs to someone else; found online.)


Grade: F-
He probably has chrome rims on his pickup truck


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## bradurani

[BOBO] said:


> This is my favorite combo.
> View attachment 17126123


This thread is about straps, not bracelets


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## [BOBO]

bradurani said:


> This thread is about straps, not bracelets


...and not jokes, obviously.


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## Wien0305

What say you Grandmaster of the Strap?


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## bradurani

Wien0305 said:


> What say you Grandmaster of the Strap?
> 
> View attachment 17126345
> 
> View attachment 17126343
> 
> View attachment 17126344


Grade: F
That's a rough cut two stitch strap on that Hamilton. Please tell me what you trailer park you live in so I don't go there accidently.


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## [BOBO]

bradurani said:


> Here's how it's done, ok folks? See how nice they look when you follow the rules?
> View attachment 17126101


You're actually making fun of others with this being your collection and strap choices‽
You do you, i guess, but i was expecting something a bit more thought out and, well, frankly better looking for someone who thinks they're in any position to judge others.

Not sure if this whole thread is supposed to be a joke or not. And your straps choices doesn't make it any easier to determine.

Am i doing this right?


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## Wien0305

Oof! I apologize my lord. Will do better next time.

Perhaps this combo meets your standards…


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## Paul W.

bradurani said:


> Grade: A
> You took a risk, which I normally don't recommend, but this time it worked out for you. Don't get cocky though and try it again. Lightening doesn't strike the same place twice.


Honestly, I'm of two minds. On the one hand, the greens mesh well. On the other hand, that's a whole lot of green!


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## Lastlineofdefense

bradurani said:


> Grade: F
> Leather never goes on dive watches!












My apologies.


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## Lastlineofdefense

bradurani said:


> Here's how it's done, ok folks? See how nice they look when you follow the rules?
> View attachment 17126101


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## Seabee1

When I order Veal I ask for the skin....<4 months old...sooooo supple and tender and...innocent. makes great bands...e vitello alla parmigiano


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## Pastor Chris

CoffeeCat2112 said:


> Is this ok?
> View attachment 17126102
> 
> 
> (Photo belongs to someone else; found online.)


Own it man! Reverse google image search goes right back to your wrist


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## Pastor Chris

Great! Now what am I supposed to do with all of these?


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## bradurani

[BOBO] said:


> You're actually making fun of others with this being your collection and strap choices‽
> You do you, i guess, but i was expecting something a bit more thought out and, well, frankly better looking for someone who thinks they're in any position to judge others.
> 
> Not sure if this whole thread is supposed to be a joke or not. And your straps choices doesn't make it any easier to determine.
> 
> Am i doing this right?


My original posts outlines a very specific set of rules, and the straps on my own watches follow those rules exactly.


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## bradurani

Lastlineofdefense said:


> View attachment 17126463
> 
> 
> My apologies.


Grade: F
A million bucks for bad taste. Sadly, not uncommon in this world


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## olske59

DadLife said:


> Anyone who thinks nylon straps don't soak up your BO in the field hasn't spent enough time in the field.


At least you can dunk it and scrub it to reduce that nasty BO.


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## CombatRat

I'm curious, what do you think of water resistant (rubberized?) leather straps on dive watches? And what about sailcloth straps for dive watches? Is sailcloth not tantamount to rubber?


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## Roger999

For non-accounting duties.


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## Chronopolis

Oh boy, I am in sooooooo much trouble now
(ducks, and grits teeth)

Trailer park special y'all !!


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## DadLife

olske59 said:


> At least you can dunk it and scrub it to reduce that nasty BO.


The key word is "reduce". Eventually, it's permanent.


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## bradurani

Seabee1 said:


> When I order Veal I ask for the skin....<4 months old...sooooo supple and tender and...innocent. makes great bands...e vitello alla parmigiano


Grade: A
Scelta di cibo molto deliziosa!


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## bradurani

Chronopolis said:


> Oh boy, I am in sooooooo much trouble now
> (ducks, and grits teeth)
> 
> Trailer park special y'all !!
> 
> View attachment 17126948
> View attachment 17126950


 Grade: F
Where there watches in those photos? I didn't see them, I was so distracted by the straps.


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## bradurani

CombatRat said:


> I'm curious, what do you think of water resistant (rubberized?) leather straps on dive watches? And what about sailcloth straps for dive watches? Is sailcloth not tantamount to rubber?


Grade: D
They still look wrong, like snow tires on a Ferrari. There are a few cases where sailcloth works, on regatta timers and other sailing themed watches, but not on dive watches.


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## MarkKenyon

bradurani said:


> The first one is good: padded leather on a pilot's watch is correct. There other two are wrong. two-stitch straps are always terrible, and a diver should be on BLACK rubber.


Thank you, I will do better next time.


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## bradurani

Roger999 said:


> For non-accounting duties.


Grade: F
Admit it, you've never actually been in the water with that watch. You probably can't even snorkel.


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## CayoHuesoVespa

Where do bund straps belong?


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## Seabee1

bradurani said:


> Grade: A
> Scelta di cibo molto deliziosa!


Ma certo


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## sdiver68

Up for judgement day!


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## StephenCanale

So what should I do about this Tudor Black Bay Heritage Bronze?

I have to admit I love the strap on this particular watch... it's almost absurdly thick, but so is the watch so it balances out rather nicely.











Are there exemptions allow because it's not only the OEM strap and also the fact that almost no one will ever actually dive (or even likely swim) with this?


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## StephenCanale

I don't have many watches on leather, and seldom replace straps.

I only have three exceptions in my collection.

This Omega AT came with a very dull brown strap that didn't really do the watch justice. I had a custom strap made to match the thickness, but with alligator skin and in a slightly lighter color to coordinate with the gold tone indices.









Another replacement is on my Tudor BB58 925 (Sterling) which came with the worlds most boring brown strap that actually subtracted from the attractiveness of the watch overall, especially considering the white stitching.... I can only assume they had an abundance of these straps in stock and no other way to get rid of them?

A total fail from Tudor on that choice. I feel pretty safe with the fitted rubber strap here which makes the watch much more appealing, at least to me. The OEM:










Fitted rubber replacement:









Lastly, a Hamilton Jazzmaster with a burgundy dial that again, came with a very dark brown and boring strap, and again, hideous white stitching.

I guess watch manufactures just figure Brown is what you put on a watch when you're in a rush and just don't care.










I replaced it with a watch in the same colorway....









is this a mistake?


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## Pakman11

This is WUS sadomasochism - members submit themselves to be punished. Quite entertaining, thank you OP.


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## Chronopolis

Pakman11 said:


> This is WUS sadomasochism - members submit themselves to be punished. Quite entertaining, thank you OP.


I imagine the OP looking like: Ilsa, the She-wolf of the SS.... but not as hot


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## bth1234

bradurani said:


> Dear Esteemed Forum Peoples,
> 
> Your new fangled, "creative", strap pairings are worse than fake butter on popcorn. Enough of this tomfoolery! Allow me to set you straight.
> 
> *Dress Watches*
> 
> The only acceptable straps for dress watches are crocodile and alligator. Ok, maybe lizard if it's a smaller watch. That's it. They must be black if you're wearing a tuxedo, or dark brown if not. This new trend of putting pebbled calf leather on dress watches to "dress them down" is an insult to dress watches and an insult to calves. The whole point is to be dressy, that's why it's called a "dress watch". Ditch the "I have no self-confidence" greys and tans and show that you love reptiles by having one killed and skinned for your watch. It's the natural way.
> 
> *Dive Watches*
> 
> If your dive watch didn't come with a bracelet. You have one choice: black rubber (silicone is just fancy science rubber, so I'm lumping them together). If you put leather on a dive watch, may the ghost of Jacques Costeau put laughing gas in your air tank. If you want to advertise to the whole world that your dive watch will never go near the ocean, then go ahead and do leather…. actually… don't… pretend you're not a boring accountant who never sees the sun and get a proper rubber strap. Black only!
> 
> *Chronographs*
> 
> This is where your leather belongs. If it's a racing inspired chronograph (this includes Speedmasters) you want a rally strap, usually with small holes to vent your gross sweaty wrists. Match the strap to the watch. If the dial is black, the strap should be black, and the stitching should be black too. Don't get all sports bro and put show-boatin' red stitching on your black strap. The strap serves as a neutral background from which to highlight the watch, not distract us from it.
> 
> For pilot's chronographs you have a bit more leeway. Brown or tan works if there's not too much black on the dial. Fake carbon fiber, colored rubber backing, colored stitching and other such nonsense screams "I can't afford a Lamborghini, but I would buy one if I could" and you don't want that.
> 
> *Other*
> 
> Field watches go on nylon two-piece straps, because they don't soak up your B.O. when you're out in the field. Military watches go on RAF-style single pass straps, or a black or green NATO. If you put a bracelet on a military watch you're asking to get shot by a sniper. Anything else is just a variation on a dress watch and therefore goes on crocodile.
> 
> *Nevers*
> 
> Never put stingray, ostrich, suede, velcro or or any strap with more than one color on any watch. Doing this screams, "I hate my watch and am trying to distract you from it with an ugly strap". There are a few watches that look alright with blue or green alligator leather, but they're rare and easy to get wrong, so it's best not to risk it. Bright colors like red, yellow and orange are never alright. Light tans and grays are always boring and sole-less.
> 
> There is exactly one scenario in which it's okay to wear a rough cut leather strap with two fat stitches at the top. If you are out on a cattle drive and your strap gets caught on a mesquite bush and rips and you need to fashion a new one with some leftover raw hide and a thorn for a needle, then go ahead. Otherwise, don't even think about it! Those things are the Invictas of straps.
> 
> This is the rule: don't choose a strap that pulls attention away from the watch. If you're doing it right, the strap should serve as a neutral background for the watch and not be noticed at all.
> 
> Ok, I know you all are burning with questions, so post your pics of your strap pairings, and I'll leave my unfiltered feedback to let you know if you're doing it right.


A great help, although cordovan can never be wrong, surely.


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## bradurani

CayoHuesoVespa said:


> Where do bund straps belong?


You must have a pilot's chronograph made in 1945 or before. No reissues!


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## bradurani

sdiver68 said:


> Up for judgement day!
> 
> View attachment 17127868
> 
> 
> View attachment 17127863


Grade: F
Superfluous, non-functional, decorative stitching on a rubber strap? I don't think so.


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## bradurani

StephenCanale said:


> So what should I do about this Tudor Black Bay Heritage Bronze?
> 
> I have to admit I love the strap on this particular watch... it's almost absurdly thick, but so is the watch so it balances out rather nicely.
> 
> View attachment 17127875
> 
> 
> 
> Are there exemptions allow because it's not only the OEM strap and also the fact that almost no one will ever actually dive (or even likely swim) with this?


Grade: D
See those weird stitches at the top? Why do they do that? I think they're attempting to give it a rustic look of some sort, like the seamstress was just too busy and couldn't be bothered to stitch the top properly. Sad.


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## [BOBO]

bradurani said:


> Grade: D
> See those weird stitches at the top? Why do they do that? I think they're attempting to give it a rustic look of some sort, like the seamstress was just too busy and couldn't be bothered to stitch the top properly. Sad.


Ah, i see. You have no idea how a strap is actually constructed.
This makes more sense now.


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## Pallet Spoon

This thread is so full of win! Here was a 6497 watch I really struggled with to strap. Did I do ok???


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## Roger999

bradurani said:


> Grade: F
> Admit it, you've never actually been in the water with that watch. You probably can't even snorkel.


Does dragging rotting humans out of the river count?


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## Pallet Spoon

[BOBO] said:


> Ah, i see. You have no idea how a strap is actually constructed.
> This makes more sense now.


I was about 3 sentences in before I understood the dry sense of humor this thread was started with  . Superlative writing as it was not overt at first. The OP has an American flag attached to his alias but I suspect he spent a fair amount of time in the UK in order to pull this off  .


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## bradurani

StephenCanale said:


> I don't have many watches on leather, and seldom replace straps.
> 
> I only have three exceptions in my collection.
> 
> This Omega AT came with a very dull brown strap that didn't really do the watch justice. I had a custom strap made to match the thickness, but with alligator skin and in a slightly lighter color to coordinate with the gold tone indices.
> View attachment 17127898
> 
> 
> Another replacement is on my Tudor BB58 925 (Sterling) which came with the worlds most boring brown strap that actually subtracted from the attractiveness of the watch overall, especially considering the white stitching.... I can only assume they had an abundance of these straps in stock and no other way to get rid of them?
> 
> A total fail from Tudor on that choice. I feel pretty safe with the fitted rubber strap here which makes the watch much more appealing, at least to me. The OEM:
> 
> View attachment 17127900
> 
> 
> Fitted rubber replacement:
> View attachment 17127903
> 
> 
> Lastly, a Hamilton Jazzmaster with a burgundy dial that again, came with a very dark brown and boring strap, and again, hideous white stitching.
> 
> I guess watch manufactures just figure Brown is what you put on a watch when you're in a rush and just don't care.
> View attachment 17127906
> 
> 
> 
> I replaced it with a watch in the same colorway....
> View attachment 17127912
> 
> 
> is this a mistake?


Grade: A
Someone gets it! Great job with the color matching on the Hamilton, that's a huge improvement. The burgundy strap really makes the dial look striking. The AT also looks great, mainly because the gold indices and hands give the watch a dressy look, which the strap complements. I wouldn't try that on one of the sportier all steel ATs, but it looks great on yours. Shame on Tudor for that ugly thing they disgraced your watch with. The Everest style silicone is an ideal replacement.


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## bradurani

Pallet Spoon said:


> This thread is so full of win! Here was a 6497 watch I really struggled with to strap. Did I do ok???
> 
> View attachment 17128104


Grade: D
Whatever weird mutant creature that leather came from, it's too scaly and the scales detract from the smooth, simple lines of the watch case.


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## StephenCanale

Stelwick said:


> If my dress watch is on a dark brown strap but I have on black/blue/oxblood shoes, my leathers (watch strap, belt, shoes) won't match. If you can't even get that right, why should I put any stock in the rest of your "pretentious, overly snobbish" guide?


and...



[BOBO] said:


> Ah, i see. You have no idea how a strap is actually constructed.
> This makes more sense now.


Gentlemen (and others) kindly refer to the thread title.....

_A pretentious, overly snobbish, old fashioned guide to choosing a strap_

Let it sink in for a moment or two.




Pallet Spoon said:


> I was about 3 sentences in before I understood the dry sense of humor this thread was started with  . Superlative writing as it was not overt at first. The OP has an American flag attached to his alias but I suspect he spent a fair amount of time in the UK in order to pull this off  .


^ Exactly

Title alone was enough for me, but it's easy to forget the exact wording if you just jump in.

Otherwise, the first sentence kinda gave away the game...

_Dear Esteemed Forum Peoples,_

It that doesn't do it, then _"may the ghost of Jacques Costeau put laughing gas in your air tank"_ certainly clarifies the overall tone.

Could be UK in the soup, but to me this reads like "Sporty on Straps." Caustic, hysterical and also with quite a bit of truth mixed in.

Of course, a great many didn't get Sporty either.

As more and more people can't relax and grasp humor, it makes such material that much more entertaining for the rest of us.

If Elon can let Trump back on Twitter, I'd hope some day the mods here could do the same for Sporty. 🤣

PS: For the haters, I don't use Twitter or follow Trump either, just sayin.


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## StephenCanale

Roger999 said:


> Does dragging rotting humans out of the river count?


Only if you're the one who dragged them in the water in first place.


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## bradurani

[BOBO] said:


> Ah, i see. You have no idea how a strap is actually constructed.
> This makes more sense now.


I know how you're constructed, with two fat stitches in your brain.


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## Pallet Spoon

bradurani said:


> Grade: D
> Whatever weird mutant creature that leather came from, it's too scaly and the scales detract from the smooth, simple lines of the watch case.


It's Nicaraguan Iguana actually ... the contrast was intentional ... and admittedly shocking  . I am glad you unlike it  . That tells me my pairing was effective and offensive to any pretentious, overly snobbish, old fashioned people I may run into  .


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## bradurani

Pallet Spoon said:


> It's Nicaraguan Iguana actually ... the contrast was intentional ... and admittedly shocking  . I am glad you unlike it  . That tells me my pairing was effective and offensive to any pretentious, overly snobbish, old fashioned people I may run into  .


If you're playing Baccarat at a Nicaraguan casino, you can wear that. Like other things that happen on a Central American vacation, it's best not to mention it when you get back home.


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## sdiver68

Coming for redemption since you didn't like my beater.


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## bradurani

sdiver68 said:


> Coming for redemption since you didn't like my beater.
> 
> View attachment 17128444


Grade: B+
That colored stitching is way too flashy for me, but I'll chalk that up to personal taste and give you a pass. Nice watch 👍


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## MediumRB

I agree with 75% of "the rules," but I think the boundaries may be tastefully extended for weird watches.


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## MediumRB

CayoHuesoVespa said:


> Where do bund straps belong?


I just threw up a little in my mouth.


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## RussMurray

I'm loving this thread. Reminds me of a Seinfeld episode.......no straps for you!


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## JSchinasi

Maggie15 said:


> You’re a monster and this thing is going to give me nightmares.


The line between brilliance and insanity is… not in play here. Just bananas.


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## JamesKL

If we wear our watches upside down and on the underside of our wrists, do the rules work in the opposite?


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


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## bradurani

MediumRB said:


> View attachment 17128915
> 
> View attachment 17128916
> 
> View attachment 17128919
> 
> View attachment 17128920
> 
> 
> I agree with 75% of "the rules," but I think the boundaries may be tastefully extended for weird watches.


Grade: D
I didn't cover GMTs in the original post, so let's do that now. They're usually somewhere between a sports watch and dress watch (the Rolex GMT Master is the notable exception, being an outright sports watch. Just keep it on the bracelet). For dressier GMTs, go with reptile. For sportier ones, calf leather straps are acceptable provided they're lightly textured with small, unassuming stitches and no unfinished edges. You've gone green on your GS, but there's no green on the dial, and your strap has a "pre-aged" look meant to make it look like it's been worn, before it has actually been worn. This is anathema.
Watches with hooded lugs - like you Bell & Ross - Always look weird on straps. You need a bracelet for that. I see what you're going for with the Parmiginiani, but you got a little too cute and upstaged the watch. The Ralf Tech is a diver and should be on rubber.


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## bradurani

JamesKL said:


> If we wear our watches upside down and on the underside of our wrists, do the rules work in the opposite?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


Only if you passed out drunk and someone taped your hair to your butt.


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## AlexLondon78

I think I have crossed at least







a couple of red lines with this one LOL. Definetly going to horological hell now


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## AlexLondon78

Stingray is only acceptable if your name is Gary Glitter or you cannot go within 500 yards of a playground, usually both.


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## bradurani

AlexLondon78 said:


> I think I have crossed at least
> View attachment 17131294
> a couple of red lines with this one LOL. Definetly going to horological hell now


Grade: D-
Why take an otherwise nice strap and make it look shoddy and unfinished by putting those 2 ugly fat stitches at the top?


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## b1rdman973

Three new suede straps from Strapsco.

Roast away 😂


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## NickTheGreat

JamesKL said:


> If we wear our watches upside down and on the underside of our wrists, do the rules work in the opposite?
> 
> 
> Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk


I think it does in Australia or New Zealand.


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## bradurani

b1rdman973 said:


> View attachment 17133692
> 
> 
> Three new suede straps from Strapsco.
> 
> Roast away 😂


Grade: F
Perry Ellis?


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## b1rdman973

Thank you lmao and yes one of the first gifts my now-wife got me. Very sentimental piece.


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## Cheep

how’s this?


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## bradurani

Cheep said:


> View attachment 17133842
> 
> how’s this?


Grade: A
Great vintage re-issue strap on a vintage re-issue watch. Thank you for following the rules!


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## Cheep

bradurani said:


> Grade: A
> Great vintage re-issue strap on a vintage re-issue watch. Thank you for following the rules!


Not a reissue strap, but vintage with curved ends.


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## Pallet Spoon

Ok, last time I'll bother you ... promise  . Another one I struggled with to strap ... I think I got it completely right  .


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## bradurani

Pallet Spoon said:


> Ok, last time I'll bother you ... promise  . Another one I struggled with to strap ... I think I got it completely right  .
> 
> View attachment 17135693


Grade: F
Haha, trying to pass off your weird photoshopped watch as real? Nice try. Or did you make it with DALL-E?


----------



## Pallet Spoon

bradurani said:


> Grade: F
> Haha, trying to pass off your weird photoshopped watch as real? Nice try. Or did you make it with DALL-E?


Lol ... sorry, no PS involved. I actually do have a Dali watch ... it is mounted on a chicken skin strap ... but I am fairly certain you are not ready for that  . Maybe next time  .


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## q child

How about a black, leather, racing strap with white stitching for a chronograph with a white dial and black sub-dials?


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## bradurani

q child said:


> How about a black, leather, racing strap with white stitching for a chronograph with a white dial and black sub-dials?


Maybe... I'd have to see pics, but usually white stitches just distract from the watch. I know black stitches sounds boring, but boring is usually better.


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## q child

Fair enough. Thanks.
By your criteria, my chronograph should have a leather racing strap matching the dial. What does that mean in this case? Black because the sub-dials are black? I haven’t found white leather to match the dial, and even if so that sounds a bit crazy. Could I do brown maybe? A natural leather tone to compliment the colorless white dial.
I might follow your advice because I find this thread amusing. If so, I’ll post a photo when I get the strap.
Cheers.


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## bradurani

q child said:


> Fair enough. Thanks.
> By your criteria, my chronograph should have a leather racing strap matching the dial. What does that mean in this case? Black because the sub-dials are black? I haven’t found white leather to match the dial, and even if so that sounds a bit crazy. Could I do brown maybe? A natural leather tone to compliment the colorless white dial.
> I might follow your advice because I find this thread amusing. If so, I’ll post a photo when I get the strap.
> Cheers.


What's the watch?

For a chronograph with black subdials I'd usually do a black leather strap


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## q child

bradurani said:


> What's the watch?
> 
> For a chronograph with black subdials I'd usually do a black leather strap


Seiko Daytona.


----------



## Ayreonaut

What do you think?

White calendar on grey leather
Red racing chrono on black perforated shell cordovan
Blue diver on white fitted rubber
Black diver on turquoise ISOfrane


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## bradurani

Ayreonaut said:


> What do you think?
> 
> White calendar on grey leather
> Red racing chrono on black perforated shell cordovan
> Blue diver on white fitted rubber
> Black diver on turquoise ISOfrane
> 
> View attachment 17142075
> 
> View attachment 17142074
> 
> View attachment 17142077
> 
> View attachment 17142081


Grade: B-
That elegant Blancpain dress watch deserves a proper alligator dress strap. Buy one black and one brown and match it to your shoes when you want to look nice. Chopard is 👍. The Seamaster strap is the wrong color. Do you put white wall tires on your BMW? The Aquadive looks great.


----------

